Something like rest

I thought I would get laundry done today, but I'm still too shaky. I got a good walk in, and finally set up voicemail on my "dummy" phone.

I'm trying to think outside the box with the shattered remnants of my brain. My next doctor appointment is in February, and I expect to be in an intensive 2-month program for March and April. I do need a reasonable place to land, although there's no knowing if I'll get a permanent home here.

A package arrived for me up north, forwarded from my mailing address in Massachusetts: a present, several cards, and one or two letters. J, with controlled pain, asked where he should send it all. At this affirmation of distance, I broke down in tears. Once I could speak, I asked him to hold it until I got back. He said, "I like that."

This forced separation is for the birds, but I'm certain he is fine without me, and that I can't go back yet.

We went to a great deal of trouble to find a nice place to be, and it was far better than we dared to hope for. My feelings at being driven from it are beyond words.

All right, so it's a little idealized here...

His brother made it into town last night... but then J's car broke down at the airport, and he was improperly ticketed... Fortunately, he has AAA Plus and got towed most of the way home for free, and could afford the rest of the trip to the shop. The kindly, dog-loving, competent woman tow truck driver got the car safely stashed and took them all safely home afterwards. How cool is that?

Tow truck drivers can be really cool.

He's enjoying the visit, though it's bittersweet. He says it might be for the last time; this brother does not take care of himself, and his next trip will be to go stay with his daughter in another state, where he can get checked out by a whole stable of medicos.

Mortality sucks.

I've noticed, though, that J's voice is stronger and brighter and deeper (a delicious combination!) so I think it's doing him a ton of good to have someone around who reminds him of being the capable older brother. He was in the upper third of a brood of 9, and it seems he had a real gift for getting things done and making everyone like it… As long as there was an element of mischief involved.

Surprised? :-) I'm certainly not. He has the gift of getting others to play. He thinks he's a lone wolf, but wolves choose their leaders according to who can get everyone to play well together...

There are so many layers of person there, that, even at this distance, and under this strain, he continues to unfold in my eyes. I don't know what the future holds, but I believe he's in it somehow.

A gift to share

I had the pleasure and privilege of speaking with Dr. Adams, who (among other things) teaches clinical at UCSF Medical School. He provided me with a brilliant overview of the recent history of public health.

"Remember [the federally mandated public health targets called] Healthy People 2000 and Healthy People 2010? We missed those goals by miles. We don't even _have_ a target program now. The next one could just be: Breathe. And I'm not too sure we could even hit that!"

He kept me spellbound for half an hour. I don't think I got a word in edgeways, but he must have liked the quality of my listening, because he gave me this book off his shelf as a gift:

He said, "Be calm when you read it. Sit down, breathe, and take it easy." Caveat emptor.

This doctor uses the (numerous!) expensive letters after his name for something besides paying the mortgage ... He and his posse sent a copy of this book to President Obama, with a cover letter explaining the devastating consequences of a profit-driven health care system. 

They heard back from a medical advisor: the President put the book in his Presidential Library, but the advisor had to state that the for-profit industries had their influence so well laid in that, if the President breathed a word about single-payor care, it had been made clear to the White House that he would be abandoned by both sides of the aisle.

Abandoned. Completely. For standing up for the American people. The same American people who let those pikers into Capitol Hill in the first place.

You've been bought & sold. We all have.  Weren't you looking? I'm not sure I was. 

The industries speak for us because we haven't spoken up enough for ourselves. Politicians are nervous, ego-driven creatures desperate for a good image, and we've let the moonshiners polish their images -- and their apples -- while we bitch about the rent. 

The rent matters. Lots. Sadly, signing Internet petitions does not. 

Is it too late?

Well, you're still breathing, aren't you? So am I. Emigrated yet? Me neither. Guess it's not too late, then. 

Be heard, unfiltered. Call. Fax. Write. Put a stamp on it. Letters matter. Phone calls matter. These represent a big hurdle in people's minds, and politicians know it. They weight them accordingly. 
(http://www.usa.gov/usa/Contact/Elected)

Paper, three sentences, stamp and envelope are not really that hard to do ... just slightly strange to think about. Try it & you'll see what I mean. 
(http://www.usa.gov/usa/Contact/Elected)

If you have expensive letters after your name, this is an excellent way to get more mileage out of them. Your words are weighted more heavily still. 
(http://www.usa.gov/usa/Contact/Elected)

Let your politicians feel insecure about their policies, where they don't serve you or those you care about. Let them feel watched.  Let them get nervous and worry about their hair; it means they're procrastinating about changing their minds, even as their minds are changing. 
(http://www.usa.gov/usa/Contact/Elected)

Call. Write. Use stamps. Fax. Be seen. Be heard. Vote. And monitor voting. 

It's surprisingly little trouble after all. 
... http://www.usa.gov/usa/Contact/Elected

To find your reps and congress-critters, choose the category and plug in your zip code here: 
http://www.usa.gov/usa/Contact/Elected

Campaign cash: Who's spending where in 2010

Information is a beautiful thing.

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Campaign cash: Who's spending where in 2010
:08 AM EDT Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The Post offers an interactive table to track campaign spending by interest groups and political parties in the 2010 midterm elections.

http://link.email.washingtonpost.com/r/E5QODK/JIITMS/2V5ICZ/SALAPD/VAIOB/ID/t

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I hope the link works.

Lovely note to start on

Pisses me off that almost all the studies done on CRPS insist on recruiting subjects (that is, patients) who have only one affected limb!  This specifically precludes a huge proportion of us. Unrealistic & stupid.

Happily (and never was the word less apt), RSDS.org is doing a 20-year study on the natural history of CRPS.  With luck, that might change the general focus to something more realistic. It only takes practice about, oh, 10-15 years to catch up with the data.

Frkn one-affected-limb-only.  Sheesh.  Bloody amateurs.

If I had a massive gift to endow, I'd create scholarships for people with CRPS to get all the support & equipment they need to complete medical school, medically-related advanced degrees, whatever it takes.