I was such a righteous fighter all my life, and now the message I keep getting from within is to "lay down my arms" -- a metaphor so painfully apt it beggars language (after all, my CRPS started in my arms.)
The more peaceful I am, the more progress I make -- or at least, the more I hold my ground. But it's very much a matter of never giving up, never laying down, never yielding one thing to this disease that it doesn't have to win from me.
I don't think in warrior/fighter terms any more, but I believe those who work with me use them. While sheer determination has stood me in very good stead, I don't think of my present approach in terms of battle. The ground has shifted too much -- so much so that, as an amateur historian and traveler familiar with the terrain of many battles, I can't think of there being anything left to win. The ground has been swept clean.
I guess I'll keep learning to "lay down my arms" and persist as peacefully and intelligently as possible, and let others call me a fighter if that's how they think of it.
Me, I opt for peaceful intelligence instead.
Links (in order mentioned):
- Hope: http://livinganyway.blogspot.com/2011/01/hope.html
- L.O.B.E.: http://livinganyway.blogspot.com/2011/08/lobe-lung-opening-buoyancy-exercise.html
- Intestinal fortitude: http://livinganyway.blogspot.com/2011/11/intestinal-fortitude-dirty-story.html
- Because things change anyway: http://livinganyway.blogspot.com/2011/03/because-things-change-anyway.html
- Nothing you do is in vain: http://livinganyway.blogspot.com/2011/05/nothing-you-do-is-in-vain.html
- Balancing act and homeostasis: http://livinganyway.blogspot.com/2011/01/balancing-act-homeostasis-and-words-i.html
- Chronic Pain Manifesto: http://livinganyway.blogspot.com/2011/09/this-came-out-of-cold-chronic-crps-type.html
- I Intend: http://livinganyway.blogspot.com/2011/12/i-intend.html
- Releasing the gods within: http://livinganyway.blogspot.com/2011/10/releasing-gods-within.html
- Beyond courage and compassion: http://livinganyway.blogspot.com/2011/07/beyond-courage-compassion.html